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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

The Long Draw...

Well, it's time to write....

In two months, it'll be seven years.

When Sydney turned seven, I thought of something I had heard of a long time ago - how our cells regenerate and by every seventh year of life, every cell in our body is different than it was seven years before. I'm not sure if that's scientifically true or not, but that thought has always stuck with me.

So now I'm thinking, the kids and I all have different cells than we did when Matt was alive. Isn't that a crazy way to think? That would mean that the skin he touched when he touched me, when he hugged the kids and tickled their little legs, is all new... Who thinks like this??

Lately I've been having a tough time, and this low is lasting longer and has been a bit deeper than it has been in quite a while. Not sure if it has anything to do with the seven year thing, or maybe it's because I'm finally allowing myself to feel stuff I've been repressing for the last seven years, where normally when I feel a wave coming on, I would either stifle it or distract myself with something I shouldn't. I'm also learning to ask for help which is a HUGE step for me.

Hoping this means when I climb out of this rut, I just may come out of it a little more healed and healthier than before.




4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have you heard of Camp Widow? A friend of mine has attended and it has really helped her. In fact, she has become a presenter.

http://www.campwidow.org/

Andrea Renee said...

Yes!! In fact, I've been to every Camp Widow on the west coast since the inception of Soaring Spirits, and it's absolutely wonderful! I also presented once a few years back... Spending time around people who know what it's like is priceless.

I'm so happy to hear that it's helped your friend, too. What is her name?

mel said...

Lots of love to you, dear friend! I hope the arrow gets shot forward, full steam, soon. But if it doesn't, I'm still here. xoxo melodie

Andrea Renee said...

Thank you so much, Melodie! Boy do I wish you lived close. I am feeling like I'm in a forward motion again, thankfully! Loads of love to you, too!! Xoxo