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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Friday, December 7, 2012


Listening to Christmas music over and over with the kids has desensitized me to it, and I'm actually starting to enjoy it (to an extent). Plus, knowing I got my kids some of the things they've been asking for all year is making me look forward to Christmas morning.

I was remembering earlier today how Matt used to get a kick out of me with Christmas... He would say, "You gonna sleep tonight?" on Christmas Eve, and then he knew I would be awake before the kids on Christmas morning just waiting for them to wake up and start that magical day. It's been a while since I've thought of that, because it's been a while since I really felt it. But I think this year I truly have some Christmas spirit - especially because one of the biggest things that Sydney has been wanting has come to fruition... ballet lessons!

I talked to a lady from one of the places I called (the most reputable one in the area) and they have an opening! She can start the first week of January. So, I'm going to get her the ballet slippers, leotards and tights, and she'll open them on Christmas morning and then I'll tell her she will be wearing them at her ballet lessons. She'll flip!! I'm really looking forward to it for her, and even for me. It will give us both a chance to socialize more with people in our new town. We both need that desperately.

I've been drawing on my children's Christmas spirit and it's rubbing off on me. And we are all very blessed that I'm able to give them a Christmas to look forward to. I know there are so many that won't - for many reasons. I'm counting our blessings, and choosing to be positive in everything.

On a side note, I had a pair of Matt's sunglasses in the van and Sydney found them (of course). She asked whose they were and I told her, and she was even more enthusiastic about wearing them. Matt is like an invisible hero/celebrity to her. I don't know if that's healthy or not, but we're accepting it.

Matthew Richard Row, we all love you and miss you so much. I know you'll be with us on Christmas, and in between, as you have been right along. Thank you for your presence and guidance. I love you with every part of me!

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