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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Jacob's Birthday and Mother's Day...

So, this marathon of a funk is finally coming to an end and I'm feeling like I'm seeing the light of day again. Phew! This one has lasted quite a bit longer than normal. I'm not sure why... I'm not gonna analyze right now. I'm just going to revel in the relief.

Jacob's birthday (May 3) was harder than I expected for some reason. I got through most of the day pretty well. Uncle Bryan and Carlos came over and had some ice cream cake with us, and Jacob was SO excited that he turned seven years old. So excited, that he had a hard time falling asleep the night before in anticipation, and was bouncing off the walls all day long on his big day.

Towards the end of the day, a wave hit me hard. I tried my best to keep my composure in front of the kids, but I just couldn't control the sobbing. I'd leave the room, sob, come back and continue our game of checkers (or whatever we were doing at the moment). Lather, rinse, repeat.

My next door neighbor Michele came to my rescue and let me blubber all over her - poor thing. She gave Jacob a dream catcher that her uncle made to help him with his bad dreams. So sweet, and I'm so lucky that even though my other next door neighbors moved (who are awesome and I'm still close to), another wonderful family moved in. We've become great friends quickly like we've known each other for years.

Mother's Day was actually good! The day before, I got a beautiful bouquet of flowers delivered to me from Jacob and Sydney (I still don't know who the mysterious helper is!). Then, my next door neighbor told me to send the kids to her for a few minutes that night (and NOT to ask any questions) and when they came back, they told me not to look while they hid my gift. The next morning, the kids could not WAIT to wake up and give me my gift! (SO sweet, but I didn't have the heart to tell them that a great gift would have been to let me sleep in...) They gave me a very sweet card with a beautiful candle in a gift bag - SO sweet! It brought them a lot of joy to have something to hand me. All those incredibly thoughtful gestures, along with all the love I got from my friends/family through Facebook and my "Gumdrop" sisters (who always come through for me when things get rough) made me feel so loved, which is exactly what I needed.

Mother's Day, the kids and I went to the SPCA again to talk about the kittens we're getting (YAY!!!) and then from there we went to Kidspace which was so much fun for the kids and it got them good and worn out. It was a good day.

2 comments:

Kristin said...

Hi Andrea - I've been reading your blog for a while, I'm a widow, too (my husband will be gone 2 years come July) and I felt the need to comment because of the similarities in your last post! My son's birthday is also May 3 (he turned 5) and it's always been one of my more difficult days, too. Even more so I think because he's my only one. He also got a dream catcher this year from my sister in-law to help get rid of all his bad dreams. It's so sad what our kids have to go through, not having their dad's around. They're way too young for all of this. Just know you're not alone and that your posts always bring me a lot of comfort and strength. There's so much safety in numbers. Thanks for sharing.
Kristin

Andrea Renee said...

Kristin, I'm so sorry we have so much in common, but glad that I can bring you some comfort! Thank you for reading and commenting. My thoughts are with you and your son - and happy belated birthday to him! xoxo