This song by Sarah McLaughlin has had meaning for Matt and I from way early on in our relationship. It was played on the radio often during that time, and so I've always had a strong association with Matt with this song - probably more than any other song. It wasn't until I heard this song at some point after he died that I realized the irony of that, and it crushes me every time I hear it. Crushes me, and brings me comfort at the same time in a strange way.
It's Christmas night and the kids and I had an awesome day at home, opening gifts, playing with all the new toys, and just enjoying the heck out of each other. Their Christmas spirit totally rubbed off on me and I felt joy all day, and so blessed that I have these amazing kids. Now that the stress of the holiday was off, I thoroughly enjoyed their company and was relaxed and happy all day. Even missing Matt so much somehow didn't dampen my spirit much today (a true Christmas miracle in my book!).
After talking to one of my closest mutual friends of Matt's yesterday, we discovered that we both had "visit" dreams of him either on the same night, or one day apart in December (see previous post). Coincidence? I don't think so. I believe that he comes to us occasionally for a visit and makes the rounds. I relish in those, and I know anyone who experiences the same thing does, too.
Tonight after such a magical Christmas Day, the kids are in bed, the house is quiet, and I'm folding laundry while listening to the last of the Christmas music on the radio before it switches back to regular programming. My mind is wandering between the calmness and beauty of today with the kids, the fun we had with my brother and his family yesterday when they celebrated Christmas Eve at our house with us (for the first time in many years), Christmases past with Matt, and everything in between. At midnight, the regular programming resumed, and the very first song played was Arms of the Angel by Sarah McLaughlin. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Merry Christmas, My Love.