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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Friday, April 30, 2010

My sweet, innocent, little boy...

Yesterday afternoon when I picked Jacob up from school, he asked me,  "When we go back to Buffalo, can we visit our friend the police officer who told us our daddy died?"

The irony of the timing of his question was amazing. If he only knew... I wasn't quite sure what to say.

Do I say, "Honey, I've heard his voice and words over and over again in my head, and see his face so vividly still in my mind - I don't need him in front of me."

On the other hand, he was so compassionate and caring. It would probably mean a lot to him to see us again and know that we're still living and breathing, and doing OK. After all, his first visit to us after Matt died had been delayed because he didn't want to bring me pain with his presence - he just wanted to see how we were.

I wanted to ask Jacob, "Why would you want to see him? How did him telling us your daddy died make him our friend?"

My response, after a long pause, was more like, "Um, probably not, sweetie."

You have such a sweet heart, Jacob Row. I can learn a lot from you. EVERYONE can.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

"Houston, we have a problem..."

I find it very interesting that the same company that my husband worked for when he died on the job is one of the SAME companies that's involved in that huge oil spill off the coast of Louisiana.

You won't find Cameron's name in probably any other article than the one in the Houston Chronicle with regard to the spill.

But look fast, because it might disappear like anything else in writing that casts Cameron in a negative light to the public.


A little blurb:
 "Cameron, the Houston firm that made the blowout preventer, is working with BP and Transocean to determine what, if anything, went wrong. Investigations by the companies and government authorities will sort out those questions in coming weeks"

I stand corrected... This is NOT the only article with Cameron's name mentioned:
Article from Business Week
Article from 
Article from MSNBC (This doesn't mention Cameron, but it's an account of what a horrible tragedy this spill has become.)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Potty Train

Sydney announced yesterday that she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore, so we were going to start full steam ahead this week with no more diapers... only, she also announced yesterday that she was sick.

She's had a little dry cough the past week, but thought she was getting over it - I just chalked it up to all the pollen in the air right now. Yesterday it started sounding a lot more wet and productive, and I also noticed her appetite was going down.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Good News and Bad News...

Which do you want first? There are a couple of sets...

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Easter 2010

Since Matt died, holidays have truly sucked. But since I have two very sweet kids to keep it together for, I try to make the best of them.

This Easter wasn't so bad, though... The street I live on has at least five families that we are friends with now - the parents are around my age, and their kids are around the same ages as mine.

They invited us to their annual Easter egg hunt that they hold in the front yards of three homes that are all next to each other - just a few doors down from us! After the kids found their Easter baskets and feasted on their chocolate bunnies, we headed across the street to the hunt...

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Prayers from strangers.

The other day, the kids and I were hanging out in the house and I noticed a car pull up on the street in front of our house. I can't remember exactly what we were doing - it was either when we were cuddled up on the couch together relaxing, or I was making dinner. Either way, I noticed this car and the lady inside, and she was just sitting there in the car.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Home Depot

When we were building our house, Matt and I made a million trips to Home Depot. While we were there picking out things like PVC pipes, 2 x 4's, power saws, nails and light fixtures, we also got ideas from looking at their displays of kitchens, tiles and carpeting... Home Depot was filled with promise and of things to look forward to putting into our new home. It was so much fun dreaming of what the finished product of our home would be like while looking around the store.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Mystery solved.

Right before the first round of Rows showed up for the home improvement project, there was a flurry of activity at my house... I had the electrician here to fix the garage door because it wasn't staying closed - as soon as it would touch the ground, it would open back up (the sensor was off kilter). I had the heating guy here because the heat would only work sporadically (the ignitor needed replaced on the furnace). Then I had the ADT guy here to replace the contact on the sliding glass doors from my bedroom which was preventing me from arming the system.

After the first round of home improvements were done and everyone left, I noticed a ziploc bag of spackling compound on the dresser in my bedroom, and since my brother had patched some little holes made in the ceiling from when he insulated the attic, I thought maybe it was his. I brought it with me when I went to his house to see if it belonged to him, but he said it wasn't his.

During one of the trips to Home Depot with Greg, we got on the topic of Matt's ashes and how he brings them with him everywhere he goes to spread them in the places Matt would want to be. I had given Matt's parents all of his ashes right before I moved because I didn't want them packed by the movers, and I didn't want to carry them with me on the plane across the country. Ginny distributed some to all of his brothers, and was going to bring some for me when she came out this last time. When Greg was telling me about what he was doing with them, it reminded me that Ginny didn't give me ashes while she was out.

Then it hit me...

Home Improvement, Part II

After everyone left from the first major home improvement project, I was inspired to do a little work myself (partially to continue procrastinating dealing with paperwork).

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Almost done...

In an attempt to get as much accomplished as possible in a short amount of time, I've "forbidden" myself from writing until I had gotten at least most of the things done that I needed to do this week.

Mission (almost) accomplished, but I've got so many words swirling through my head (multiplying exponentially every day) - things that I want/need to write about to get them out of my head, and things I just want to write so I don't forget. It's starting to keep me awake at night again, so I've decided that if I want to sleep and get anything accomplished during the day, I'd better just take the time to sit down and write.

So, here I am... I've got nine posts in draft now, so get ready for a lot of reading!