It's hard not to think the worst after what our family has been through.
At first when my brother got sick, I was worried but not worried... Even when he went to the hospital, I blocked the worry and fear. But then it set in even though I tried to fight it. I thought how it seems the good guys are all getting taken lately, and realize how quickly things can change. I thought, "is this the real reason I was meant to move out here? so I can be with my brother in his last days and help my sister-in-law and their children through the transition?" Horrible, torturous thoughts.
He had/has a very serious infection and was in the hospital for nearly a week. He is home now, thank goodness, and is on oral antibiotics. He still needs to regain his strength, but knowing him, he'll get there in no time. I'm just so thankful that he's home and doing well and on the road to recovery.
I'm also thankful that my sister is here for the next week and a half!
During our visit last night, I had a strange sensation. I felt "normal" for the first time in a very long time, and I think I figured out why. For the first time in over a year, the focus wasn't on me and our loss. The way it's been recently is when a family member or friend travels a long distance to be with us, it's been because of what I'm going through. This time, it wasn't for me and it felt kinda nice. I feel guilty for saying that because it implies that I'm glad my brother got sick - that's not the case at all. It's just nice to have the focus on someone else for a change. (That still sounds bad...)
My sister, brother and I have one of the best relationships that siblings can have. Even with our age differences, we all get along so incredibly well and can make each other laugh like no one else can. We're pretty damn lucky for that. They'd better be alive and well for a freakin' long time.