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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

"Don't put off 'till tomorrow what you can do today."

The past few days have been pretty full. I'm finally starting to tackle the things I've been putting off for far too long.

I got an estimate done for the plumbing that needs repaired and replaced in the house, and talked to my brother-in-law about having him come out to do the work. It's a big project that requires re-piping the entire house from galvanized steel to copper, digging up the front yard to replace the deteriorating sewer line, and replacing the faucets in the sink and tub in the bathroom. It's going to require breaking into some walls, too.

Matt's parents are going to visit the same time that Chris is out to do the plumbing, and I'm probably gonna try to get the other two brothers to come out so we can have a little Row reunion! Plus, they can help patch the walls after the plumbing is done... (Maybe I can talk them into getting a few other things done like put in the access door to the garage, replace the garage roof, insulate the attic, bolt the foundation, and put in new tile in the kitchen, but that might be a little too ambitious.)

I've got an appointment tomorrow morning with the insurance lady to talk about alternative health insurance options for the kids, and options for me. Anthem is sucking me dry with their cranked up rates for the kids, and because I'm still on COBRA and considered out of network by my insurance carrier, my medical bills are out of hand. I might as well not even be insured at this point. We haven't even been to the dentist yet (I'm pretty sure I have a cavity), and I know my eyesight has changed a bit as well which will require new glasses and contacts.

I did get the hedge trimmer working and trimmed all the hedges in the back yard. I can't tell you how satisfying it was to finally get at that, and to just go crazy trimming everything with a big power tool. Woohoo! I was wishing I had more hedges just so I could hack away at something else!

Did a little bit (too much) retail therapy at the Nordstrom Rack, but got some really cute things. Since I'm living in a warm climate now, I've got to get more warm-weather appropriate clothes, you know! At least that's how I'm justifying it... Also got some new gardening gloves (not at Nordstrom's, obviously) since the other ones I had got destroyed, and I used them when I took out the poisonous Oleander that was in my front yard.

Sydney and I went to look at a potential preschool, and loved what we saw. I've got a couple others to look into as well. I was going to keep her home for another year before putting her in, but I think we both will benefit from having her spend a few hours two or three times a week in preschool. Hopefully the money I save from changing my insurance will help offset the cost.

I have an appointment for next week to get my van fixed since it's had two recalls on it - it's a 2005 Toyota Sienna, and the seat belts and some other gas strut thing both need replaced. Fortunately, the brakes aren't recalled like on many others. Now I need to make an appointment to get the back quarter panel fixed from when I backed into the pole (on my birthday) the month before Matt died.

It seems like with every one thing I accomplish on my To Do list, two more things are added in it's place. But I'm starting to finally feel like I'm getting my shit together (sort of), and it's making me feel a little less stressed.

Totally unrelated, but Sydney just came up to me with one of her dolls and said, "She's crying."

I said, "She is? Why?"

She replied, "Because she misses her daddy."


Jill said...

Andrea, the health care stuff makes me mad! Coming from Canada, and having moved to the US 1.5 years ago, I really see the difference in care. I took for granted our free health care in Canada, and never ever having to worry about getting a bill. Here, things are so different and you deserve complete care without having to break your bank account.

Anyway, I went a little off-topic there :-) It sounds like you have your hands full with the house!! Keeping busy is a good thing...

Recyclepath said...

Sis, I think you are making huge strides! Everyone has a "to do" list which never really goes away. Just keep prioritizing what's most important for you and the kids and you'll be further ahead than most and feel fulfilled in the process!

Mama_Bear_Sarah said...

poor sydney. she's doing her best to understand/cope.

Jennifer M Karn said...

I have always been a list person and my list has never been empty. But, since Kevin died I feel as though that list is a noose around my neck. At times I get into full gear and tackle several things. At other times, I let the list get longer and worry about it later. Before Kevin died my list was just a part of what I'd always been. Now it's a daily reminder of my reality. The difference before was that fixing leaking pipes, mending broken fences, and cooking dinner were on his list...not mine. It feels great to mark things off and I've come to realize it will always be a defining characteristic of me. I just hope some day my lists will mean something different, something better.

I wish you luck with tackling such a big list. Something tells me you can do it.

Carrie Lynn Fazzolari said...

Holy crap! You've got a lot going on! I love the whole feeling of empowerment when using a powerful instrument - "hedges you are dust!" It always makes me want to put on the "freddy" mask and go at it - making my neighbors think that they're neighbor is crazy!?

The whole health insurance/COBRA thing... CRAZY!

And as for putting the baby into preschool... you do what you think is best for you and her... it's a tough, tough decision.

You've got it figured out - by that I mean, you've got the whole "good person" figured out... just keep swimming, keep swimming, keep swimming... You are truly a great, great person!

Crash Course Widow said...

Your ambitious list exhausts me, just reading about it! Kudos to you, girl!

It took so incredibly much energy to get anything done in the first year or two of widowhood. I had to learn to cut myself a lot of slack and allow that crossing one thing off per week actually counted for something, even though it meant a half-dozen or more items continued to go undone. Truth be told, I think it took almost 3 years before I got the major death-related things finally done...and I eventually ended up throwing out the mental list of all the other stuff that never got done. Except I still know there's some stuff I haven't gotten done in over a year or more....Whoops. ;o)

Good luck to you on all the to-do tasks! I always feel so good when I'm FINALLY able to get stuff crossed off (and it usually takes FOREVER for me) and so frustrated when they continue to go undone. Hugs, my friend!

annie said...

My daughter's toys have all lived through angst that she imposes on them in the wake of her own upheavals. It's actually a common, and useful, coping mechanism. It would be nice to be a kid and be able to get away with displacement like that.

Glenda said...

Retail therapy is always good :) ughhh on Sydney and her baby doll crying for her daddy. :( that made my heart ache! I put my daughter when she was 3 in pre-school 2x's a week and at 4 3x's a week. She loved it and never cried when she went to kindergarten all day. I think it'll be good for her and you too! Have a good weekend! xx

Anonymous said...

I just got new gardening gloves too! My first pair, actually . . .

Elias always took care of the gardening around here. I would pitch in, but usually looked after the girls while he did the heavy stuff. I was using his work gloves for the most part, so it oddly felt like a 'big step' to get my own.

I also wish you didn't have the health care issues. It's awful.