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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Moment of peace.

At night after the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, I like to go out to my backyard, stand on the deck for a few minutes, and take in the view.

The sky is usually clear, and there are a surprising amount of stars out for being in such a densely populated area. I would have thought that out here, where there is more ambient light, there wouldn't be as many stars visible as there were in the rural area I used to live in. I look at the beautiful king palms that I can see from the other side of the block. The perpetually blooming fuchsia bougainvillea that grow on the back of the house and the side of the privacy fence. The wooden play structure that Matt built for the kids that used to stand in our backyard in New York.



Matt loved taking Jacob outside at night to look at the moon. He would have him in his arms, and they would both look up into the night sky. I don't think I have a picture of that, which is kind of odd, considering that when Matt was alive, I always had camera in hand, capturing the many sweet moments of him with the  kids. The image is forever burned into my memory, thank goodness. Matt would also take Jacob out onto the back porch during a thunder and lightning storm to get a better view (we won't see any of those here). There was no greater aphrodisiac for me than seeing my handsome husband being so genuinely tender and loving with our children. At three, Jacob knew the difference between a full moon and a crescent moon.

Now when I look up at the moon and stars, I think of how those are the very same moon and stars that Matt used to see. Who knows - maybe still sees them, only from a different view.

Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.............

11 comments:

letterstoelias said...

That's beautiful, Andrea.

It reminds me of something I had long since forgotten, so thank you.

Enjoy your moment of peace, and I wish you so many more.

~C~

Boo said...

lovely memory Andrea, so tender x

Mama_Bear_Sarah said...

if only wishes on stars could suddenly come true ...it'd be a happier world.

peace.
Sarah

Kris said...

Wishing you so many more of those peaceful moments. They are well deserved throughout this awful journey we're on.

I'm in CT - if you ever find yourself back in NY, let me know! I'm upstate often - Chris has a lot of family up there.

xoxo
Kristin

Carrie Lynn Fazzolari said...

Beautiful...

Shannon said...

I am there with you in peace. Enjoy!

mymomgenes said...

The is a beautiful post and image, Andrea. Thank you for sharing it.

Angela

Glenda said...

Beautiful post! Wishing you many more moments of peace! you deserve it!

♥Sarah♥ said...

My heart breaks for you, after each of your posts. I cant imagine going through what you have.

Ams said...

Just popped onto your blog... from another blog...
and I just wanted to say that I read it from start to finish. You are a strong lady. I have never been through anything like that, and I am not sure I could. Sending all of my love and hugs to you and your beautiful little family :)

Danielle said...

Wonderful memory.