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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Holiday Presentation Today

Jacob performed with the kindergarten class for their annual holiday presentation at school. He had been practicing at home for the past couple of weeks, and it was the cutest thing to see. I love hearing his sweet little voice singing - I'm relishing in the innocence of it before he starts getting embarrassed by having someone hear him sing, or if he starts thinking it's "uncool." They choreographed movements to go along with the music, and he had all that down, too. They sang Jingle Bells, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, Ten Little Angels, and one or two other numbers that I can't remember.

Uncle Bryan was able to go with Sydney and me to watch Jacob perform. What a sweet uncle to leave work so he could be there with us. Jacob was thrilled to see him there, too. Most of the parents in Jacob's class now know that his daddy died, so when I walked in there with my brother (whom they haven't met yet), I got a few looks - I could tell they were trying to figure out who he was. Watching the parents - the complete sets of moms and dads walking from the parking lot to the school, some hand in hand, triggered the familiar stab in my heart that Matt isn't walking beside me to see his little boy in such a big moment. It did help having my brother with me, though.

I put Sydney on my shoulders and we went up closer to get some pictures and a little video clip. I could see Jacob looking around for me, and he was having some difficulty singing, gesturing, and looking for me all at the same time, but when he saw me, his face lit up and did his performance with such spirit. I was so proud of him! He even blew me some kisses without missing a beat.

As I was taking a little video clip with the camera, it beeped and indicated that the memory card was full. You know how many pictures, etc. it takes to fill up a 1 gig memory card??? The timing really sucked, but fortunately, my brother had his camera. When I came back after getting his camera, some of the moms said, "His whole demeanor changed when you walked away." Poor kid's face dropped. He lit right back up when he saw me, though. What a good feeling for a mommy to know her kid is so happy to see her. I hope that lasts for a long, long time! His little sister beamed when she saw her big brother up there with his Santa hat on, singing his little heart out. "THERE'S JACOB!!!!" I hope that lasts for a long, long time, too.

Now I really have to download some pictures so I can take more!


Shannon said...

That had to be hard! What a great brother you have to do that for you. I don't think mine would do that. He couldn't stay sober long enough. Sad. You must be very proud of Jacob for being such a little actor. Santa should put a little something extra under the tree from "Daddy" in Heaven for doing such a wonderful job at his play. That would make him happy! Just a thought!

Danielle said...

You need to post some of those pictures so we can see your beautiful childre. :)

Recyclepath said...

Glad to be there for you & Jacob, my sweet sister! Jacob performed with enthusiasm and an ear to ear smile!

Maggie B. said...

I figured that was your brother yesterday. So sorry I did not get to meet him! My heart ached for you, knowing that events like that probably make you long for Matt even more intensely than on a regular day. I'm so sorry.

Mama_Bear_Sarah said...

I had 1,296 on my memory card and finally went to have some printed. It's a little bittersweet to delete pictures and make room for more because pretty soon there won't be any of Brett left on the memory card and with no new ones to take their place.