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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Grand Finale.

The closing for our home in upstate NY was originally scheduled for December 15, but was changed to December 28 since the buyers were going out of town. Today, I took all the real estate closing documents to a notary to get finalized and sent back to the attorney.

As I stood there signing my name in about 20 different places, it occurred to me that with each signature (literally signing my life away), I'm further away from the home that Matt and I built together and started our life in. The home in which we brought first Jacob to, and then Sydney. The home we made wonderful memories in and filled with love. Signing those documents ended up to be tougher than I thought it would be.

I flashed back so vividly to when Matt and I sat together at the large rectangular table in an office where we signed our names in about 50 different places to start our home together. I remember feeling the emotions from that moment - stomach-flipping excitement, stress about now holding a mortgage, but mostly happiness and feeling so grown up.

As I was signing today, it was the first time I felt a twinge of regret, thinking maybe I should have stayed there and held onto it for the kids since their daddy built it, but the feeling only lasted for a moment. I know I made the right decision for us at this time in our lives.

It's just so hard to let go. Our beautiful home. Our beautiful life.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

sweet Andrea...I can't even imagine...I wish I was there to give you one of your big hugs back to you! You are so strong, your new home is filled with much love too, although I know it is missing that very special piece...I so wish it were different for you all. Your family is so loving and warm, I know Matt was an important part of that specialness...xoxo
Jeffra

Notes From the Grove said...

Thank you for being so open. So honest. I work with Tonya--sometimes she comments your blog. She lost the love of her life in an accident too. I think of you both often and am always sending you so much love.

Shannon said...

I think once the papers are signed, it will be a huge weight lifted off your shoulder's. You don't sem to have any regrets moving. I don't think you would have been able to "move-on" had you stayed there. Too many memories. Not that memories aren't good. Just being in the house would have driven you crazy. You can take memories anywhere! God Luck Andrea! You really are "my hero!" Sound corny? Maybe. I just don't know I could do the things that you have accomplished and survived with two kids in tow. You are so strong. I really hope you meet a great guy someday. No one deserves it more!!!

Robin said...

It's good that you are confident in your decision. That probably makes it slightly easier, though I am sure it is hard to let go of that (huge) piece of your life together. Peace to you.

Mama_Bear_Sarah said...

After Brett died several people asked if we were going to move since he died in our home. This is where our memories are, this is where we'll stay. I get it, I so get it.

Danielle said...

I bet that was so hard for you. I too think you are doing the right thing for your kids. You are a good mommy and Matt will always be with you!