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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Today.

November 15. I hate this date. It should be omitted from calendars from now on.

I'm going to try to focus on all the love that is coming my way from family and friends and wrap myself up in it.

I'm going to pray for Matt's mom, dad, brothers, children, cousins, aunts, uncles, nephews, nieces, friends, coworkers.

It's not about me. It's about what this world lost a year ago today. But this world is a better place for having had Matt in it for 39 years.

Today, Matt's brother Greg is racing in the Baja 1000. This race is in honor of Matt.

I miss you more each day, My Love.......................

16 comments:

Rachel said...

I don't know you and I didn't know Matt but I'm sad for you. I know your kids love you and I hope you have a good day with them.

Anonymous said...

You don't know me, but I've been reading your post for many months. I just want you to know I've been thinking about you this weekend, and praying for you and your children.

I'm not sure if this will bring you peace or sadness, but this morning, at 4am on Nov. 15th, my cousin Sarah had her first child. While thrilled, she is very sad today because she wishes her father could meet his grandson. You see, Sarah's father died of cancer when she was eight.

Something about all of this - that Sarah lost her dad so young, that she has thrived despite losing her father, that her first child was born a year to the day (almost to the hour) that your children lost their father - something in all of this gives me peace... that my family made it through, and your family will, too, and that life goes on. Your children will grow up happy and healthy, despite the pain of this past year.

I know there are no words anyone can say to ease your pain. Please know you are in my thoughts today and always.

L.N., Ohio

Boo said...

Andrea, I don't have the words because there aren't any ... but I can tell you that here in the UK there is a candle burning for the light that Matt was and still is in your life x

m. said...

it's a shit day, no doubt about it.

smile at, and with those kids.

and maybe,

just maybe,

things won't suck quite as much.

Melissa said...

Sending love to you, today and always. <3

Jill said...

I was thinking about you all day today. I felt so sad, almost as if I knew you and Matt. My heart feels so heavy for your loss, and the "firsts" of everything are so difficult once that person is out of your life. You have made it through this "first" anniversary and have your friends and family around to comfort you. xoxo

Cammie said...

wish I were there with you.....
xoxoxo

JenBait said...

I wish I could be with you. My heart is with you, Sydney, and Jacob today. <3

Shannon said...

No words could take the place of hugs, Andrea...Just lots and lots of tight hugs! Luv Ya! Shannon

Glenda said...

Hold your head up high. You've made it through this year and I'm sure you keep going because of your beautiful kids. I'm glad you had your friends on this one year anniversary. You've come a long way! Be proud of yourself... your strength... you moved from one coast to the other...and made new friends... that alone is a huge step! Someday the kids will be so proud of the strong mother they have. Sending you hugs... XXX

Jorie said...

Sending you love and hugs. I am so sorry, Andrea.

Jim and Mary said...

Andrea, I've just landed on your blog and it just happened to be your one-year mark. I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer April 6, 2008 only two weeks after our daughter was born. I know that no one else's loss is comparable to yours; each of us carries our grief and hurts in our own way, sometimes silently and sometimes ranting. I'm only a few months ahead of you on this journey and I remember hitting the one year date. In a way it got easier after that. Not better, just not quite as jagged and raw. I'm so sorry for your loss. -mary

eastmoormom said...

Happy New Year Andrea!!

Kris said...

I found your blog shortly after my husband died in July after a 9 month battle with cancer. I'm 31 and am now raising our 3 year old son on my own.

Your story, your posts, have done a lot for me these last 4 months. It helps so much to know that there are other people out there in similar situations and that they are finding a way to survive. You give me faith that maybe I can survive, too.

Being a widow sucks. And I truly believe no one can really understand what we go through unless they've been through it, too. Being a young widow, especially one with kids, is just evil. It's something that happens to other people, not to us. I guess we're statistics now.

I just wanted you to know that I'm so sorry for you and your family. I'm so sorry you're on this journey. I hope you're doing as well as you can be. You'll be in my thoughts.

Kristin
www.kristinmoconnor.com/familyblog

Suzann said...

Andrea - thinking of you - this time is so difficult. Light across the miles between us.

letterstoelias said...

Hey Andrea,

Just wanted to check in and let you know how much you are on my heart these days.

I hope you are doing as well as can be expected at time like this.

~Chelsea