Tomorrow morning, Jacob goes to his Kindergarten doctor appointment where he will get four or five shots (my poor little love), and the necessary form filled out for registration.
In two days, we will be having a moving sale. Or, maybe we should have entitled it a "moving/estate" sale. Matt's parents are in town and are taking the lead on this, thank goodness. It's completely daunting to me, as it is for them. Going through Matt's things - our things, and determining what will get sold, what his brothers might want to keep, what I might want to keep, either for myself or for our children someday.
In seven days, Matt's brothers and their families, my dad and step-mom will be arriving in the Buffalo area.
In eight days, we're having a big family party.
In nine days, my brother, sister and their families, plus about 20 of my friends will be arriving into town.
In ten days, it will be the first annual 5K in my husband's honor to help fund the trust fund that Cameron's employees have set up for our children. Kristin of Cameron has been busting her butt to put on this event, as have many Cameron employees at the Buffalo location who have been greatly affected by Matt's loss.
In twelve days, all of our belongings are going to get packed up by the moving company that Cameron hired for us (what a blessing that I won't have the work and expense of this). My vehicle is also going to get picked up to be shipped out on this date. Most of our family and friends will be on their way home.
In thirteen days, our household goods will be loaded onto the moving truck and on its way.
In fifteen days, my mother-in-law and father-in-law will be taking the kids and me to the airport in what was my husband's truck. Jacob, Sydney and I will be on our way to our new home and new life in California, and Matt's parents will be on a cross country adventure to eventually bring his truck to its new home with Matt's brother Jeff in Arizona.
I'm completely and insanely overwhelmed by all of this. Our impending move, getting ready for the sale, preparing this house for showings (praying it sells), trying to mentally prepare myself to see it empty, leaving our friends and family, everything I've ever known, not to mention all the other million little details in between.
I knew it would all be hard. I guess I just wasn't prepared for exactly how hard it really is. Leaving this life behind. Our life. Getting it through my head that Matt is now a part of my past. Not my present or future anymore. I look at pictures now of him with the kids, and they look so much younger than they do now. They've changed so much in the past nine months. I guess I have, too. I'm someone who I never thought I'd have to be. Who I never wanted to be.