Not only is today my first 4th of July without Matt, but in one week, it will be Matt's 40th birthday. I know that day is going to be especially hard for his parents and brothers.
I plan to get an ice cream cake (his favorite), and the kids and I are going to sing Happy Birthday to him. I don't want to break that tradition. Matt's mom said they plan to do the same on the other coast. It will still be his day - on both sides of the country.
All three of his brothers celebrated their 40th birthdays in a big way - a trip with the whole family (brothers, wives, older kids) to Vegas. I'm pretty sure it was Vegas all three times... I was either pregnant or nursing a newborn each time, so I couldn't participate, but I fully intended to plan and participate in this birthday celebration. I wasn't sure exactly what we were going to plan for him - I wasn't convinced Vegas was where he really wanted to go. I was thinking more like a trip to Mexico - maybe San Felipe like we had done in the past.
Before Matt and I were married, we met his whole family in San Diego and drove down to San Felipe. We camped in tents on the beach in November. It started off cold, but each day got warmer and we ended up extending our stay. It was so beautiful that no one wanted to leave. Even though I ended up with bronchitis, I didn't want to leave, either. I felt a little bad keeping everyone awake with my coughing all night long, and I felt like shit, but it was still fun! When the tide was out, we walked far out into the ocean and collected lots of beautiful sand dollars (that I ended up leaving at Greg's in San Diego). I even took part in riding one of his brothers' quads over the doons, and got pretty daring at it.
Tent camping wasn't in the plans this time around, so a condo was a consideration. His mom was going to help me plan, but we never got the chance.
I was going to take the kids to see some fireworks last night, but it was raining, of course. I'm so sick of rain! Someone said to me a while back when I was deciding about moving to California, "Everything is easier to deal with when the sun is shining."
I can't wait to get my ass out there.
Especially since I'll have another hurdle to get through this month... Our 7th wedding anniversary.
I'm just not in the mood for fireworks tonight.