My photo
Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Friday, July 10, 2009


Most times, I just still can't comprehend that he's really gone... like right now. I feel like he should be sitting at the picnic table with us, eating corn on the cob.

His bike clothes should be hanging on the railing of the deck, drying out after a long ride on a nice day, along with wet towels from swimming in the pool. He should be making the kids squeal with laughter and frustration with his teasing and playing. He should be telling me he has to mow the lawn before dark since it's a nice day because it'll probably rain again soon.

He should be making a wish and blowing out the candles on his ice cream cake tomorrow after the kids and I sing Happy Birthday to him.


eastmoormom said...

was my day today. sucks doesn't it.

Anonymous said...

Yes, he should.

I stumbled across your blog a few months ago and have been reading -- or checking -- daily.

I am pretty certain that there is nothing I can say that will really matter, but I want you to know I am here. Just reading.

My heartfelt condolences on your loss of Matt.

Kelly said...

Hugs, love. He should be there. But he's watching over you guys, and he'll be having that cake with you in spirit. Happy birthday, Matt. {{{HUGS}}} <3

Bre said...

Lots of love, honey. You're right, he should be there. I'm so sorry.

Boo said...

Happy Birthday Matt.

Andrea, there are no words, and I feel for you today ... I know how tough it will be and am sending you a virtual bear hug.


Shannon said...

He heard you singing and hears all of your thoughts aloud. Ia m sure he wishes he was here too. Every day is one day closer to seeing each other again... Happy, Happy Birthday Matt!

Chelsea said...

It's so wrong in so many ways. I understand far too well what you mean when you express lacking the comprehension that he is really gone - I guess that feeling takes a long time to change, if ever.

There is some small comfort in knowing that I will always miss Elias - it reminds me of just how special our love was - but it doesn't make it hurt any less, and I'm sure on a day like this it's all amplified for you.

Happy Birthday Matt

Jen Hodder said...

I have been following your blog for a while now and have to admit, I have been a complete lurker. I recently had some tragedy strike my own family and I NOW know how much the comments have helped me. I have vowed to NEVER lurk again.

While following along, my heart has broken for you and your family many times. I have been reduced to tears as I read your beautifully written notes. I am so sorry you are going through this and wish you peace and love in whatever form it may come in!