I have pretty much stopped asking myself the question "why" as it relates to the reason why Matt was killed, and why things happen they way they do. But what I want to know is, why are some days so much harder than others?
Today has been difficult. Not every moment of today, but many of the moments, and it's not like anything significant has happened, or that it's a special day. I just am missing Matt something awful lately, and today in particular, I've had some difficult moments. I should be thankful that these moments aren't back to back and constant like they were in the beginning.
It's probably things like Begindergarten, and Sydney saying more and more words - even small sentences, that are a trigger. I'm sure I'm just going to have these moments for the rest of my life for no good reason, except for the simple fact that I miss him. I miss him. I miss him awful.