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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

What's Going On?

A Marvin Gaye classic... I heard this song on the way to work the other morning, and it was very fitting, because I've been wondering what the hell is going on lately. It's really difficult trying to stay positive when there's so much sickness and pain around me. Why are so many bad things happening to the people closest to me? Is there a black cloud looming over my friends and family? Am I jinxed? I know it's pretty much across the board these days, and it's nothing personal, but I'm starting to wonder if someone is out to get us.

I just found out one of my closest friends has a rare genetic disease that causes cysts to form in her spine, causing chronic pain, bulging discs and other disabling conditions. Jenny and I have been friends since high school, and our friendship continued just as strong when she moved to Florida for college back in the early 90's. She visits every year with her two little girls, and has always been a constant and faithful friend. It's her husband that has the cyst on the nerve in his neck (if you read that post), and his surgery is coming up on Wednesday, March 4.

Here is part of her email to me describing the issues with her back: "The bulging disc is the least of my worries, or the arthritis in my lower back or the Schmoris nodes pressing on all the c4-c7 in my back causing bulging discs and severe pain. The worst news was I have a rare genetic disease called Tarlov's cysts on my s2 vertebra two 1 cm each and it is genetic. Only 60 cases reported by 1970 and chances are Hanna may have it! Only 6 doctors in the US treat it..."

Has anyone heard of this?!?

My sister has chronic back pain due to spinal stenosis, slipped discs, arthritis, not to mention joint pain associated with her Lupus. She's only 43 years old, and she's been dealing with this crap for years already, but it's just the past year that her back has gotten to such a bad state that she can barely walk or even stand straight. She has to sit to alleviate the pain, but it still doesn't make it go away. She's on a million different kinds of meds for Lupus and pain management, high cholesterol, osteo arthritis... I worry about her because of the toll all those meds may be taking on her organs, and what the chronic pain is doing to her state of mind.

My friend Jeff (only 38) has similar issues with his back that my sister has - spinal stenosis, etc. And he's the one that's in the hospital right now because of the brain hemmorage!!

These are good people- they don't deserve any of this shit. Matt didn't deserve to die. IT'S NOT FAIR.

I know I have to keep counting our blessings - believe me, I do... I guess all I can do is pray, and be there for them. They have always been there for me; it's time to pay it forward.

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