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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Too Much!!!

Went to see my buddy Jeff in the ICU yesterday... It was such a relief to see him. I made the decision to go see him a few days ago, and ever since, I could hardly think of anything else until I got there. I had everyone at work sign a card, and I couldn't get myself to the hospital fast enough. Almost wasn't "allowed" to see him, but managed to weisel my way in there. I'm going to be a regular now. I need to see him and see for myself that he's doing OK- I'm just so thankful that he's alive and doing as well as he is. He's got an awesome family and a ton of support from them. Between the stories Jeff has told me about his family, and talking to one of his brothers at the hospital, I want them to adopt me! They have these awesome family get togethers full of great food, lots of beer, and plenty of banter. My kind of people!

I'm a bit overwhelmed right now with all the stuff going on and all the things I have to take care of. I'm trying hard to not just shut down from it all and keep pushing through. I got quite a bit taken care of yesterday - took Sydney to the doc (she's now on antibiotics - first time ever for her). Got to see Jeff. After, I went to Cameron and talked to Renee and got a bunch of answers to my questions, and unloaded Matt's Cameron shirts and briefcase with their logo. They can have them back. I did keep one of his Cameron shirts... I asked them to change the date of the 5K they're planning in Matt's honor to August 23 instead of the 30... They kept changing the date w/out consulting me (nice, huh). Did they stop to consider that Matt's family and my family (who are all pretty much on the west coast) would like to participate? And the people I work with that also worked with Matt for years want to participate, and they wouldn't be able to if the date hadn't changed. Also, I asked them if they could have the golf tournament the same week so Matt's family could participate in that as well. They're working on that. I also told them I would like to be notified of publications before they get printed in the paper so I know to save them, and not have to have them pointed out to me by friends who happen to come across them. I made an appt with my attorney because all this estate stuff is coming up, and everything I'm getting says, "consult with your attorney" - he hasn't done squat for me, and I need some guidance! Especially since most of this junk is tax related, and the deadline is coming up in April.

Did I mention I have yet to write any Thank You's? I've got a million papers in a hundred different piles in my bedroom and I need some time to put them in order to make sense of everything.

I have pictures of Matt and the kids that I'm putting into frames to hang in their rooms - those are also in piles in my bedroom right now. I can't live in this chaos - I need cleanliness and organization to be sane, so until I get this stuff taken care of, I can't relax. Perhaps I should be home getting it done instead of accomplishing nothing at work (except for this blog)?

I do have something to look forward to, though - a bunch of people from work (from the "younger" crowd) are taking me out tomorrow night. Complete with a designated driver. My aunt and uncle will be babysitting for me, and I'm sure I'll get looks of disapproval when I come stumbling through the door, but I don't even care. I need a night out BAD. On one hand, I can't wait. On the other, I just wanna stay home and sleep. I'm not going to cancel, though... I need this more than sleep. I just wish it was Matt that could help get me into the house and into bed after a good night of overindulgence...

One thing I need to make the time for is to train for this 5K... the test engineers Matt worked with will be running in it, along with some other good runners. Matt was a runner. I used to be a runner (back in the day) but due to a bum knee and child bearing, I'm not conditioned for it anymore. I printed their times from the Corporate Challenge in June and plan to use that as my goal- I'm gonna kick some Cameron butt in this race!

1 comment:

zach05kate95 said...

I hope you have a great time out tomorrow night.