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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

To Hell in a Handbasket

Jacob said to me this morning,
"Mommy, when can we get a new dad?"

I said, "Probably not for a long time, sweetie."

He said, "But I really want a new dad."

How do I respond to this? Up until now I've been pretty good at pulling an appropriate response to him out of my hat ("hat" being the nice word for what I was gonna say), but this one has me stumped.

I know that people die every day - husbands, wives, fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, etc... Why should we be exempt from something that happens all the time? I try to get that concept through my head, but still it feels like right now we're the only ones it's happening to, and that it's completely unfair. I know that's not logical... Life is unfair and bad things can happen to anyone at any time. No one is exempt.

They say only the good die young... guess it's a good thing I'm not an angel. Maybe I'll get to see my kids grow up.

Doesn't it feel like the world is going to hell in a handbasket?

Then I look at my sweet little children and they are reminders that the whole world doesn't suck. I need to remember to pray. Pray that God fills everyone's hearts with love so that there's no room for hate and anger (something I especially need to remember lately), appreciate what we have and make the most of each day instead of thinking of what could have been or should have been. I'm saying the words... maybe I'll start living them again if I say them enough times...


eastmoormom said...

my mr. k said the same thing to me...has a couple times...i don't think there is or at least i haven't found an answer...but i like yours....'sometime'...that is easier than saying yes...and way easier than saying no...and man, do i wish it were that easy...would love to email with you..
bteamofbg at yahoo dot com if/when you'd like to commiserate

Michelle said...

I know a fraction of how hard this is. You're right, you see stuff like this on the news, but it's not supposed to happen to YOUR family. Personally, I had a hard time yesterday missing my dad. The grief gets better, but is never completely gone. I don't know what else to say but I love you & am still praying for you & the kids every day.