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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Letter, mailed 2/13/09

Ever since our confrontation in the hospital where you said to me, "My husband is in the ICU - it doesn't get much worse than that," I can't get that out of my head. I can't believe you would say that to someone whose husband just died. You don't think it can get worse than that? I'll give you some insight.
My husband was sucked up against an industrial sized metal pipe with such force that the impact was like a car accident, and it injured his heart. But that's not what killed him. He was trapped there- alone - and suffocated to death, and wasn't found for almost two hours. Then, his body was carved up for an autopsy, then he was thrown into an incinerator where his body - my husband, father of my two babies, was burned up and reduced to a pile of ashes. So, now tell me how much worse it can get than Jeff being in the ICU with hope of recovery?
I'm going to continue praying for him, and praying for you, too, Lynn. I pray that you stop isolating Jeff, yourself and your kids, and invite the people into your life who really want to help. Open your eyes and your heart - they are all around you. Stop pushing them away. You don't know how good you have it.
PS - I don't have to explain to you or anyone else my motive for my visits to the hospital. I care. Period. Think whatever you want.

I know it might not accomplish anything mailing this out, but I had to do it for myself. I kept writing the letter over and over in my head, and now that it's mailed out and out of my hands, I can stop dwelling on it.

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