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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Chocolate Cake

Yesterday I picked the kids up from Jennifer's and took them to the park. I parked in a different spot this time, with a power pole behind me. I made a mental note to be careful when we leave pulling out of that spot because the pole was right in the back quarter panel - not visible in any windows from inside the van. Well, naturally I forgot about it after getting the kids rounded up, and I backed right into it. CRUNCH. The whole back corner of the van is a mess - broke the light and everything. Happy freaking birthday. Oh well - I guess it could have been worse - it could have been another car. Some guy was walking down the sidewalk when it happened and said to me, "They shouldn't have put that there." If my children weren't in my presence, I probably would have said something not too neighborly. Jackass.

I came into work this morning and found 26 emails in my inbox from Facebook - all friends of mine wishing me a happy birthday! I feel so loved! I know having my bday posted on the home page of Facebook helps people to remember, but it means a lot when they take the time to send me birthday wishes. =)

My best friend Kim (from work) made me the most delicious chocolate cake for me (recipe on the back of Hershey's cocoa). It actually tasted like a truffle - sooooo good! She's such a sweetheart, and a wonderful friend. Took the leftovers home, stuck a candle in it, and my sweet little love (Jacob) sang the Happy Birthday song to me. Totally made my day! Matt wished me happy birthday again when I got home from work - it means a lot that he is making an effort to be more attentive. I also got phone calls from my Mom, Dad, Connie and Bryan. Poor Bryan got me on the phone after backing into the pole... At least he got a chuckle out of it!

Our house is overrun with snotty noses and sore throats, and everyone at school is hacking up a lung. 'Tis the season, I guess... I just hope this year Jacob is well enough to go trick or treating. Last year, he had a high fever and was confined to the couch - he didn't even want to go trick or treating because he felt so rotten!

Did I mention my big boy has been riding without training wheels on his bike for a couple of weeks now?! He probably could have gone longer without them, but he was reluctant to take them off. He actually took them off himself with a wrench, and then rode his bike like a little pro! He and Daddy love to go into East Aurora and ride on the back streets. One of his proudest moments was when he made it up the big hill without getting off his bike.

Sydney is really chatty lately, although we can't understand most of what she says yet. Yesterday she said "eyes" as clear as day, and we're almost positive she said "that's hot" and blew on her food to cool it off. She's picking up speed on those little legs of hers, and is smart as a whip!

I'm such a lucky mommy.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life.

Happy Birthday to me! My wonderful husband (who is finally starting to get it!) had Jacob come in and wish me Happy Birthday, and I got birthday kisses from Sydney - what a great way to start the day!

35 should be interesting... I'm expecting a call today from my doc with results from the myriad of tests I had done on Friday for hyperthyroidism, vitamin D deficiency... I'm actually hoping it's hyperthyroidism so I can avoid further tests and just take some medicine to feel better. Other than that, I have to say I don't feel a day over 25!

I named the blog Always Remember - not only for my bad memory, but because in keeping consistent with my desire to remain positive, I named it that instead of the negative alternatives of "Don't Forget" or "Never Forget."

Today is my mother's birthday, too - 69 years old... We had a surprise party for her at Sgt. Pepperoni's on Saturday, and Michelle, Dan, Michael, and his girlfriend Mwenya drove out, along with Mrs. Schueler, Mom's boyfriend Ron, Matt and the kids. It was actually kind of fun! (I'm sure the 2 beers I had helped w/that, too...)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Always Remember

I created this blog because I have the world's worst memory, and I've always intended to have a journal to look back on.

Today is October 19, 2008. Tomorrow is my 35th birthday, and my mother's 69th birthday. Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of the D&C from my 1st miscarriage, at about 3 months along. My 2nd miscarriage came just a month after that. I was convinced it would overshadow my birthdays from that day on, but after having some time getting my priorities back in order, I realize my birthdays are an opportunity to be thankful for being here on Earth for another year, another year with my wonderful husband and incredible children, and another opportunity to count all my blessings.

I had a very strange and wonderful phenomenon happen on the due date of the first baby we lost. I had been searching for some sort of closure, and a way to put into words everything I felt about the whole situation, and a way to honor both babies. I woke that morning with the words. I can't take all the credit, because I truly believe I had Divine assistance with it, but here it is:

Written on April 27, 2006 (Due date of the first baby we lost)

Unborn Angels

Looking for some comfort

in something so unfair;
Did I do something wrong

for such a weight to bear?

Words can't express the sorrow...

it's my time to mourn;
Heaven has two more angels

never to be born.

Wish I could hold you in my arms
and cuddle you close to me;
I know I'm not alone in this wish -
it seems a common dream.

I believe things happen for a reason,
Though it doesn't ease the pain;
I'm even more thankful for my blessings,
So this all hasn't been in vain.

I hope you know you're loved
and will keep you in my heart;
At least you're safe in God's arms
if we have to be apart.

My son Jacob (born May 3, 2004) and my daughter Sydney (born May 23, 2007) have completed my life, and continue to fulfill me every day - who could ask for more?!