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Matt and I were together for 10 wonderful years - met in 1998, married in 2002, until his untimely death on November 15, 2008. We have two beautiful, healthy children - Jacob (born 5/04) and Sydney (born 5/07)... the most precious gifts he could have ever given me.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

'Till Death Do Us Part.


This phrase keeps ringing through my head. I went to the Social Security office yesterday to take care of some paperwork, and because Matt's death is marked as "pending investigation" on his death certificate, the lady at the SS Office had to ask me what happened (because if I'm a suspect, they can't allocate funds to me). I had to explain to her what happened. Then, after she was done putting all the info into the computer, she printed a page off for me to review for accuracy. One line in particular was like being punched in the stomach: "MARRIAGE ENDED BY DEATH ON November 15, 2008." I'm still wearing my rings, we didn't get divorced, we were happy! I still feel married. My brain just can't process all of this.

Oh yeah - today is nine years since Matt proposed to me at Niagara Falls. It was so cold that night, and after he asked me, I didn't feel cold anymore! He proposed again a couple of months after that... We had gone to the mall to have my engagement ring inspected, and they handed it back to him after they cleaned it. He wouldn't give it back to me, and I was getting mad at him - I don't like being without that ring on my finger! Finally I told him (in jest), well I guess this means the engagement is off! We walked the mall a bit, then got to Kirklands. We were looking around in there, and we were in a back corner of the store when he got down on one knee. We ended up with a crowd around us, and one lady said, "Oh! Are we witnessing a proposal?!!" LOL

I said yes. Again. And if he would have asked me a month ago, I still would have said yes.

5 comments:

Cammie said...

ohhh Andrea. You will always be married to him, I dont care what that paper says

Kelly Syferd said...

You will forever be married to Matt as long as you hold him close to your heart. And I know you do. No piece of paper can take that away from you.

Tracey said...

Oh, Andrea...I'm so sorry. Don't let the words get to you. You are most definitely still married to Matt and you will be forever.

Jenn dings3@linkline.com said...

Hi Andrea,
I just found your blog from Matt Logelin's blog. I am recently widowed (Oct. 09) at the age of 35 with 2 small children. I've only just begun to read your blog, but I very much recall the "marriage ended" line at the Soc. Sec. office. It was very painful for me too. We were married 14 1/2 years. And he is still my husband.

Gabe and Lindsay said...

My wife passed on September 23rd of this year at 28 and I had the exact same thoughts when I read that line on the SS papers. I wrote something yesterday that I was feeling which I think you might be able to relate too... http://partofthemiracle.com/2011/10/13/forever-and-ever/.