Today is October 19, 2008. Tomorrow is my 35th birthday, and my mother's 69th birthday. Yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of the D&C from my 1st miscarriage, at about 3 months along. My 2nd miscarriage came just a month after that. I was convinced it would overshadow my birthdays from that day on, but after having some time getting my priorities back in order, I realize my birthdays are an opportunity to be thankful for being here on Earth for another year, another year with my wonderful husband and incredible children, and another opportunity to count all my blessings.
I had a very strange and wonderful phenomenon happen on the due date of the first baby we lost. I had been searching for some sort of closure, and a way to put into words everything I felt about the whole situation, and a way to honor both babies. I woke that morning with the words. I can't take all the credit, because I truly believe I had Divine assistance with it, but here it is:
Written on April 27, 2006 (Due date of the first baby we lost)
Looking for some comfort
in something so unfair;
Did I do something wrong
for such a weight to bear?
Words can't express the sorrow...
it's my time to mourn;
Heaven has two more angels
never to be born.
Wish I could hold you in my arms
and cuddle you close to me;
I know I'm not alone in this wish -
it seems a common dream.
I believe things happen for a reason,
Though it doesn't ease the pain;
I'm even more thankful for my blessings,
So this all hasn't been in vain.
I hope you know you're loved
and will keep you in my heart;
At least you're safe in God's arms
if we have to be apart.
My son Jacob (born May 3, 2004) and my daughter Sydney (born May 23, 2007) have completed my life, and continue to fulfill me every day - who could ask for more?!